Pagan

I have always had a phobia

of an ice skate slicing my throat.

My therapist tells me it has to do

with the fear of the food

that for so long I refused to swallow.

I repel at the thought that you might touch

that elastic, thin encasing skin.

Do you remember Apollo?

They always said it would never happen.

Do you remember when you asked me to be your girlfriend

on the ice of Frog Pond in the bitter center of Boston?

I was certain that it would happen.

Now I am left bleeding

prostrate and opened

sliced through the jugular like

the sacrificial winged golden-haired ram

left on Mount Pelion.

And with the disinhibition of a man

whose gods etched a constellated escape route

on the back of his hand

you wear the golden fleece

of my white-knuckled plans;

left me sopping

in the undoing

of me.

This piece was published in Summit Avenue Review Volume 47 , April 2023.